Dear Antonio....

(for those who don't know, Antonio Band-eras is my band name...)

My Dearest Antonio...
sweet, sweet Antonio... how can I love you one day and want to rip you out the next? Have you no consistency?? Why do you make me feel as if I've hit the sweet sweet spot one day and then have me hurling over a toilet/sink/plastic cup/trash can/what have you another couple of days?  Why must you tease me so?? Why when I am at my most favorite place (Pita Jungle for any of you newbies) with one of my faves (Michelle, again, for any newbies), must you force me to run to the restroom and spend at least a good 10 minutes spitting slime that looks a little like jelly-fish when it hits the water in the toilet?? This causes my fave to exclaim:  "is it me?? b/c you really seem to want to leave me alone in restaurants a lot?"... then, dear sweet Antonio, just when I think all is well, you trick me into believing I'm hungry and then I eat and then again, spend the next 15 minutes in the home bathroom.. at least you allow my little jelly-fish to be different colors again so that I don't get bored. That's so sweet of you. You really are a giver most days Antonio but why are you f'ing with me these past couple of days? I understand you are about to take a journey to a big city and you might be a little nervous that the flying might cause you to tighten your little buns around my stoma as if you were clinching to not pass gas.. but dear Antonio, can you give me a little break?  I would like to not have any added stress these next couple of days as I make it through 12 hour work-days, dealing with my new roomate, trying to prepare for my trip, etc...  please, Antonio, please!! 

Your only saving grace today Antonio is that when I had to go outside b/c there was a fire alarm and we were still in a meeting, I glanced back and caught a glimpse of my shrinking ass in the mirrored windows..  I had to do a double take b/c I wasn't sure it was me! If I could have kissed you in that moment Antonio, I would have, however that would have required major surgery and I'm not willing to do THAT again.

Smooches,
Jen