Pour Some Sugar on Me (make sure that it's a splenda though!)

So, at work, they had this drawing for tickets to Def Leppard, Poison and Cheap Trick and my friend JRo won them. She decided she wasn't going to go so she gave the tickets to Timmy and me (later on, at approximately 5:22 on Saturday night, as we were driving to the concert, JRo decided that she did want to go to the concert so she met us there and bought a ticket).. it was approximately 1020 degrees outside on Saturday night as we spread out our blanket on the lawn of the Cricket Pavillion to catch some good old fashioned 80's rock and roll.. While the concert was amazing, the people watching was the best part ever!! And, I thought that I had big hair!! I had nothing on some of these broads!! There were people there that legitimately dress the way they were dressed in real life, day to day.. I guess, to each their own!!! Since it was so FREAKING hot on Saturday night and I was sweating buckets, I decided to count some of my dancing (aka moving my feet and waving my arms) as some activity points on the WW!!! Hey, every little bit helps, right??

Speaking of WW - I dropped 3.6 last week and am hoping for a bigger loss this week as I followed everything to a T this past week. I also have to say that I just love my husband b/c when I expressed that I was concerned that all we ever do is go to bars and that was something that I would not be able to do nor want to do once I had my surgery and began my transformation ( haha, that's what I'm calling it these days! ) he suggested we start doing more fun things that don't involve sitting at a bar, watching a sporting event.. he actually came up with some fun things to do! I appreciate that he's willing to help make the changes as well.. even compromising the things that he loves to do for me! I know that the changes in me are going to effect him more than anyone else, so I love him for making an effort!! :)

I have lots more to talk about but will leave that for a later blog.. I did see "Julie and Julia" this weekend as well and have to say that I'm in love, love, love with Julia CHild (or maybe just Meryl Streep as Julia Child) either way, her personality and attitude was definitely contagious!! If we could all be as happy and positively charming as she was!!!

First Class FREAKOUT...(You down with IPP??)

Picture this.. Friday night, made plans to go to dinner with Michelle and Kennedy and Timmy (hadn't seen KD in about 2 weeks.. Brandon was in Germany) Michelle picks us up in the Kennedy-mobile. I slide into the back seat, like I always do and say hello to my baby god-daughter.. who looks at me like I have 3 heads and immediately FLIPS out.. I'm talking screaming, crying, tears, hyperventilating.. the works.. Was it something I said?? So, Michelle jumps out of the front seat (b/c of course, we are still waiting for Timmy to make his grand exit from the house, as usual), grabs KD, brings her the front seat to console her, consoles her, KD looks back at me and proceeds the Meltdown.. SO, I'm thinking, Ok.. do I look different, do I smell bad, what's different about me that this poor little thing does not recognize and is causing her to be short of breath she's crying so hard.. And then I take a step back, realize that she's 4 months old, I really can't be that heartbroken that she doesn't recognize me b/c I really haven't been around much (see previous blog where I bitch that I'm so busy) and we all need a good freak-out every once in awhile.. So, I did what every good God-Mother does - I bought her an outfit to buy her love.. :)

So, I started thinking, maybe Kennedy was having what I call an Intentional Pity Party (or IPP... )

A couple of years ago when I was lamenting about my inability to get preggers with my SIL Beth, she told me about her friend who from time to time, when she really needed it, layed on her bed, kicked her feet and had a good old - fashioned cry fest/ tantrum.. Beth told me that whenever I get to that point that I need that, to call her and she'd join on in.. Well, I don't think I ever called her but I gotta tell you, I do this from time to time and it feels great!!! Heck, I think I might have one at least once a month!!! It clears my head, flushes out all the negativity, helps me see things more clearly and releases something in me..

I don't necessarily have to have an IPP for me.. a couple of months ago, my dear Friend MM's mom passed away.. my heart hurt so bad for her that I cried for hours for her, for her family, for her kids, for her sister, for her sister's family.. I knew her mom, not well, but her passing brought about so many feelings of my own parent's immortality that the waterworks wouldn't stop..

So, the next time you are really feeling sorry for yourself or just need a release, give me or someone a call.. I'll have the tissues handy and I may even join in with you..

SideNote... Kennedy seemed to get her IPP out of her system b/c on Sunday morning, she stopped by my house and seemed to not think I was the scariest thing she'd ever seen... I think I might have even caught a smile on her sweet face...

My Name is Jen, but you can call me Miss CrankyPants...

Ugh, I'm beat.. Work has been brutal for me this last week.. scratch that, the last two weeks.. I think by the end of this week alone, I'll have clocked close to 15+ hours of overtime.. that sucks.. it's good for the pocketbook, but bad for my mo-jo.. I've been a serious crank pot for the last couple of days.. here's why..

To top it off, we started Weight Watchers at Work this week.. what a bad week to start that!!! Lisa and I decided on Monday we were going to go out for our last big hoorah (aka eating fest) before starting WW on Tuesday.. we did, then we joined WW on Tuesday and found out everyone else was starting to count points on Wednesday (b/c WHY would you start at noon on Tuesday when you can have one more day of freedom and start on Wednesday??) so, in honor of that, we decided that we'd go out for beers and chicken wings.. yeah, I'm dedicated to the celebrating of one's last night out of eating anything they want and enjoying it without having to do math calculations in their head!!

Today on the WW wasn't that bad until around 3:00 when my stomach started growling and my head started hurting and I felt weak (not really, but it makes the story so much more exciting!) but I sucked it up, drank a boatload of water and didn't cave.. being a chubby girl, I have a LOT of points to go thru so this shouldn't be this hard but it's always seemed that the first couple of days on a diet, all you can think about is food and how quickly you can get it in your stomach to feel full. It is kind of fun to have alot of buddies at work doing this thing with us.. everyone was in some stage of hunger at every point during the day!! Some even said they already felt skinnier.. (I kept my opinions to myself.. I think they were just delusional from the lack of food.. ) So we trudge on for the next 10 weeks, giving each other high-fives in celebration of our weight loss and successes.. I have about 10 weeks until my surgery so I'm hoping that I can drop at least 10-15 before the big Pre-Op diet.. just gotta stick to the plan..

In other exciting news, I barely did my hair today and got more compliments than I ever did.. (like I mean, BARELY did it.. dryed it on the cool setting and let the curl stay and had my bangs straight down- no effort at all) I wonder how bad I normally look on a day when I do do my hair.. My boss actually stopped me in the hall to tell me that my hair looked good, which made me laugh out loud.. ( in all fairness to the big guy, he's always very astute when it comes to what we are wearing.. he's kind of a secret fashion critic.. ) So, we'll see, maybe I'll be bringing back the dry your hair and go look from now on.. You can just call me Bon Jovi (circa 1989)

What I'll miss..

Oh, how I love beer.. I'm not sure when my love of beer started.. it might have been back when I was 4 or 5 and we lived in Merced CA next door to a Coors Distributor (or maybe he just drove the Coors truck.. either way, he used to share his cases of beer with my dad) and my dad would always ask me to get him a beer.. the good daughter I was, I would go to the fridge, grab a cold one and open it up for him.. most of the time, I think I might have had a sip or two.. When we lived in Germany, as a 16/17 year old, we could go to the bar and have drinks which is what we used to do on Friday and Saturday nights.. the beer was stronger there but it was good.. in college, when beer was a $1 a pitcher, I expanded my beer horizons, imbibing in such classy beers as Natural Lite, Milwaukee's Best (the Beast), Keystone, and my personal mainstay through most of my college years - Busch Lite. As I got older and most other chicks were drinking either frou-frou drinks, martinis or cocktails made with lower carbs.. I stuck to beer. Turns out, as my friend Jamie once told me, you can class up a bottled beer just by putting it in a glass.. so much more classy!

So, you may ask, why am I blogging about beer? Because, once 10/29 rolls around, my love affair with the cold stuff will come to an end.. one of the number one things you CANNOT have if you have the lap band is carbonated beverages.. so it's a one-two punch for me.. no more Diet Coke (I could write a whole blog on how DC has changed my life!) and no more beer.. I'll admit, I was not aware of the no-carbonation rule when I entered into this adventure.. and I might have chosen another weight loss path had I known ( ha! just kidding!)

So, what to do, what to do.. I think I'll just go cold-turkey on 10/15 (when I start my pre-op diet) and say sayonara to one of my true loves.. The Diet Coke won't be that hard b/c I did an experimental DC vacation about 2 months ago and did pretty good.. of course, like a drug you can't quit, I'm back on it again..

I have to keep remembering that beer probably played a large role in my current weight "situation".. I'm not going to lie.. with beer comes a buzz, with a buzz comes loss of control and with loss of control comes eating just to eat.. I really should hate beer for what it's contributed to, but alas, our bond is too strong.

Unfortunately I have a husband who counts Beer as one of the 5 major food groups.. we'll have to deal with that when the time comes.. in the meantime, if you see me before 10/15 with a beer in my hand, I guarantee I'll have a smile on my face..

Looking for a Purpose....

I have an old friend from Ocean Springs who is now a preacher running his Christian Empire down in Florida. I occasionally check his website b/c I do find a lot of what he speaks on very motivational and relevant. Last night, as I was checking out his site, I watched a video that was on his site, promoting his message in the upcoming weeks. In the video, someone was asking random people "what's your purpose in life" and surprisingly, most people couldn't answer the question. For some reason, this video sat with me all night long and into today and I can't shake that question. "What's my purpose in life"?

I think, as people get older and get further away from the "traditional" expectations in life - getting married, having a career, having a family, living in that house with the white picket fence - we start to question what our purpose is in life. Or maybe it's just me that questions it.
I've always felt that I was destined for something big in my life.. in actuality, I think about it alot. I keep feeling that I'm on the cusp of doing something great or something meaningful. I'm not in any way saying that I am not happy in the life that I'm currently living b/c I love my husband more than anything. But, there's something missing.. Surely, my purpose in life can't be to just be a good, loving wife, daughter, a loyal friend, a trustworthy co-worker. I've got that down pat, but that just seems so boring!! I read these stories of people who found their calling in volunteerism, humanitarianism and celebrity. I know my calling is out there, but where is it and when will I get it?? I'm almost 40 for goodness sakes!!

I know that the grass isn't always greener.. in fact, I can't count the number of times when I've been talking to Shannon and have said, "the way you feel about people being married and how you want that, is the exact same way I feel about people who have children and want that". This weekend alone, we were at our friends' house with 3 other couples - all had kids but me and Timmy. Someone said, "oh to go back to the life of not having kids and we could do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted".. and all I could think of was "that life is great, but how much greater would our lives be if we had a family.. " I guess you don't realize how lucky you are to be in a certain circumstance until you aren't in it anymore..

So, I feel restless.. I feel like change is brewing.. anyone else ever feel this way?? Have you found your purpose??

Deep thoughts..

Ode to the Pool...

Oh Pool, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways..

* I love that you are free (if you don't count the monthly mortgage/rent payment and the pool service) enjoyment

*I love that you make me and others happy (seriously, have you ever seen any one UNHAPPY in a pool?? )

*I love that you make me feel that if Water Gymnastics were an Olympic Sport, I'd get a Gold Medal

*I love that you allow me to create a wave pool in you - which usually brings about minutes of laughter

*I love that you let me sit in you for HOURS on a Saturday and Sunday and read my book, with just the gentle humming of the A/C and the waterfall as my background music

*I love that you are cool and refreshing, even when in the dead of summer, when most AZ pools are hot as bath water - Michelle says it's b/c you are deep.. she's so wise..

* I love that when my friends come to visit, you are where they want to be, not out doing touristy things..

* Mostly I love that when I'm feeeling down, stressed or upset, all I ever have to do to feel better is get in the pool, do a couple of laps, some handstands and some water aerobics and I feel ten times better..

No Pool Tribute would be complete without mentioning the other pool that I spend many hours in.. the "H" pool.. wave pools are much more fun there any weekend..

This weekend was very low key except for a very fun Friday night.. see M's blog http://hokenstad.blogspot.com/2009/08/about-last-night.html for a funny letter to KD about our Friday night activities.. I think it's safe to say, we were all feeling a lot like M and B on Saturday morning!!