Gobble Gobble..

wow, when I go on a blog writing break, I really overdo it!! It's been a couple of weeks since my last post and there's no particular reason for the lapse in posting, life just gets in the way.

So, tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I gotta be honest, I'm just not feeling it this year. Could be a myriad of reasons:

• I'm sick as a dog (not really but I like to exaggerate a bit) but really, am not feeling well and have no motivation to cook/eat anything
• I have to spend it with my asshole brother in law.. because that's just the right thing to do....but he pretty much ruins any holiday or any occasion I get to spend with him
• I miss my family. I want my brother and niece and nephew to meet Mac. I want him to see Nana and Chief.  We're not spending Christmas together either and that just makes me sad.  I hate that it costs the same as a flight to Japan just to go to Michigan these days.. ridic. I miss my cousin Karen. Holidays always meant spending time with her.. 
• Thanksgiving is about family and since it's just me, Timmy and Mac, it just doesn't feel like it should..
• My band is so tight lately. could be the mucous built up in my throat and draining or it could just be that I need an unfill..  so mashed potatoes will be my BFF tomorrow.

Despite my pathetic Thanksgiving avoidance above, I am still thankful for lots of things, including:

• My sweet husband who took care of me and Mac last night when I was lying in bed, pathetic from the sickness (and takes care of me daily!)
• My sweet little Miracle Mac, who, despite our faults, loves us completely unconditionally and has changed out lives in unmeasurable ways.
• My friends.. both here and all over the country, but especially the ones who live here in AZ who provided me with such support, guidance and love over the last year..and as always, my sisters in Chicago!
• My lapband - it single handedly gave me back myself, helped me have a baby and brought me to the people here in blogland.. Antonio is my hero!!

I hope you all have a fantastic Thanksgiving and eat as much as your lapband will allow!! :)

xoxo,js

Halloween, Half-Marathons and Crazy Hair..

Hi All!! Just when I think I'm going to start blogging regularly, I can't seem to make it happen!! I've been wanting to do a blog for the past week but work has been pretty steady and I don't get anything done on the computer at home..  

So, anywho.. how are ya'll? We are good here!  Winter arrived in AZ this weekend and didn't really give us any notice.. I mean, for most of you who live in the Midwest and East Coast, what we have for weather would be considered Spring-like but in AZ, when it gets into the 40s/50s.. it's COLD!!!  I don't know what happened to my thick skin but I'm a complete wuss now! 

Halloween was good.. not a whole lot of excitement since Mac is really too young to enjoy any of the trick or treating or candy free-for-all that comes with Halloween. He was a lobster for Halloween and Michelle took these super cute pics of him:

How cute is he??  I just loved these pics of him!!  It was too warm for him to wear his costume on Halloween though.. 

He's awesome and super fun these days.. he's just so smiley all the time! I think I really lucked out with an easy peasy baby!

This weekend we did the Women's Half Marathon again.  It was fine but my legs are killing me today!! I am going to try to start a running program so that I can maybe do the "Pat's Run" which is in April. It's 4.2 miles and that gives me 6 months to train so just maybe I can become a runner and then next year, at the 1/2 marathon, I could do a mix of both running and walking b/c I gotta tell you, walking 13.1 miles BLOWS!!! So boring!! And if I can figure out a way to be on my feet for less time, I'm doing it.. 

here we are at the starting line.. it was 41 and chilly! 

 And here we are at the finish. I have to say I hate these pics of me, and am not happy with the way I look, but I know I'm going to keep working at it to get to where I need to be.

I got a fill last week and am happy to say I'm finally really moving down the scale a bit.  I was down 5lbs in two weeks on the Dr's scale! Woohoo!!  This level of restriction is really really good. I just need to get my mind to remember that I can't eat breads and pastas or I'm stuckity stuck big time.. 

So, that's about all I have. I still wanted to do a 2 year band anniversary post but now I'm a few weeks out from that.  maybe I'll get to it sometime soon!  Hope you are all well.  Here's one last pic of my crazy haired little cutie!  

xo,js

My VERY First BYOC!!! (and got my BOOBs bag!!)

It’s Friday and time for BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy! A couple of questions we answer to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy to your own blog and enjoy!



This week my questions are going to themed…as in they are all about blogging and just to throw you off – there are more than 5 this time!!

1. When did you begin blogging? Do you plan to do it a long time or do you think you’ll stop after a while?


I think I started on this blog in August, 2009? I blogged for years on a site called Multiply but gave up on that b/c there was a lot of drama and it was stressing me out and so not worth it! I think I'll keep up with it b/c I do enjoy writing out the things that go on day to day..

2. What do you enjoy more - blogging yourself or reading other’s blogs?


I really enjoy reading other's blogs. I get so much good information and enjoyment out of reading about people's lives!  I guess I'm kind of a voyeur like that.  I like to blog myself, but there are times when I really have nothing to say!!


3. What’s the biggest thing blogging has taught you? Biggest surprise about blogging?

That I can be completely random!! I seriously sometimes look at the things I blog about and think "what in the hell were you thinking??!"  I'm actually surprised at how close people get through blogging.

4. Have you met any other bloggers in real life – solely because of your blog or theirs?

Yep, I have!  I've actually hung out with Jenny from NYC a few times and met Colleen from NYC as well last year.  I have also met Vickie a couple of times as well and Liz(Lizzy,Libby Lou) from here!

5. Does your blog have a general theme as in one topic or do you cover everything and anything?

I pretty much talk about anything. Nowadays it's generally all about Mac!  But I'm hoping to get back on track with the weight loss stuff.

6. Are you public or anonymous? Whichever you are – do you ever wish you were the other?


I'm pretty public.  I'm also not very shy in real life and generally say whatever is on my mind anyways, so I don't really hide much on my blog.  With that being said, I don't advertise my blog though so not everyone I know has read it! I pretty much shout from the rooftops that I had lap-band surgery as well and have found that it has garnered me tons of support that I didn't expect!
7. What’s your best blogging advice for a new blogger?


don't take things too personally. Like, if you don't have a ton of comments or a ton of followers.  I used to get all bent out of shape if I didn't get any comments but on the other hand, I don't often comment b/c I'm usually reading real quick, so I'm over that phase!  Put out there what you want to put out there and if you say something that poeple may not agree with, be prepared to have people disagree with you and be ok with it.
8. Does anyone in your real life read your blog/know it’s address? Do you wish they would or wouldn’t?

yes, I have a lot of "real life" friends who follow me and my family all know my blog/address. I'm good with whomever reads it.

9. Do you enjoy blogging or do you view it as a chore? How often do you blog?


I do enjoy blogging, just wish I had more to say and more time to actually sit down and do it.  I try to blog once a week, but it's becoming once every two weeks! Wish it were more.


10. Do you tell people in your real life that you blog? Or keep it a secret?

I do mention that I blog and if someone asks, I'll give them the address.


***I got my BOOBs bag yesterday and have to say Holy Balls!! You girls did fantastic with it!! Thanks soo much!!! ****

Hope everyone has a great weekend and if you are out celebrating Halloween adult style, be careful!! Pics on Monday of Mac in his little costume.. He's a LOBSTER!!!  Here's a sneaky peek:

Lordy, Lordy, Look who's 40!!!!

ME!!!!!

(the company I work for just got approval for lip indication for one our our drugs - thus the lips sucker!)

Yep, I turned the big 4-0 this weekend!!!  It was very anti-climactic..  40 doesn't feel much different than 39 or even 35 for that matter!! 

On Saturday, in lieu of doing our usual training walk, we opted to go to Pinnacle Peak and hike.  It's about a 4 mile hike and it was an absolutely gorgeous morning!  My cardio level is still not where I'd like to to be so I had to stop multiple times for air, but it was a really good workout!  My calves are killing me today! 

Saturday night, my husband had a party at a local sports bar/restaurant.  It was fun to have all my friends gathered together for some drinks and laughs!  Coupled with the amazing MSU/Wisconsin game, it turned out to be a spectacular night!! I drank entirely too many beers so I woke up with a slight headache yesterday morning and really wasn't up to doing much of anything on my actual birthday!! Timmy and Mac and I had a nice little lunch together and then just relaxed! All in all it was a fantastic birthday. I really kept saying to myself how lucky I felt, I have great friends, great family and the most fantastic two men in my life, Timmy and little Mac. Can't imagine life getting much better than it is!  Here's me and Melissa - she's one of my closest girlfriends and came in from Detroit to celebrate with me!

My two year band anniversary is coming up this weekend and while I am definitely not a success story (yet) I have a lot of thoughts on the last two year and why I'm so grateful for my band and the life it has given me (back!)  So, keep an eye out for that post!!

Hope you are all well and had fantastic weekends!!  Can you believe it's almost the end of October?? Holy smokerooooooosss...  

The big one..

Hey all! It's my birthday week!!  The big 4-0 is coming up this weekend and for the first time in years, I haven't been all consumed with my birthday!!!  I know it's a little selfish, but hey, when is ever just about you?? Really, only on your birthday!  This year is a little different thanks to the little man that has taken up the big hole that I didnt' even know I had in my life!! 

I can't even begin to put into words what joy Mac has brought me these last 3 months..  I guess the perfect example is last night, I went out to Happy Hour with my girls from work and while I love to go out and do fun stuff, all I kept thinking was I couldn't wait to get home to Mac and smother him with kisses and snuggles!!  I was bummed when I got home and Tim had not only already bathed him, but fed him and put him down for the night..  I mean, how can you not just melt when you see this little face: (he wasn't feeling well on this date, which explains the bags under his little eyes!) 








So, enough about the baby. I need to commit to talking about weight loss b/c that's what this blog was originally about, right?  I'm happy to say I'm finally losing again! I have been to my dr twice in the last month and gotten a total of 3 cc's put back in my band, which brings me up to 8 cc in a 14 cc band.  I'm finally feeling restriction and have lost about 5 lbs since last Tuesday. Woot Woot!!! My pre-preggo clothes still do not all fit, but I'm getting there.  I still have about 20 to go before I'm back at my lowest and then I want to lose another 50 to get to what I feel will be my ideal weight.  I'm motivated now that I know my band is working (it was always working, I just wasn't working it well!)  If only I could cut out the crap from my diet now!!!  I'm eating so much less but I'm still not making 100% of the right choices. I did have to go cold turkey on the Diet Coke this week. I picked it up after I had Mac and was having WAY too much and not enough water. Two days in and I'm not dying or shaking yet..  I've done it before and will do it again. My workouts are getting more frequent and I'm hoping to add more each week. I'm still training for the 1/2 we are walking in November so last weekend we did 12 miles..  it was ridiculous.. I hate walking but I did it b/c now I just feel guilty that my friends signed up for this thing and if I didn't show up to train, I'd somehow be letting them down..  but I keep showing up, hating every minute of it!! :)

I'm back to work and it's fine.  It truly is like I never left!  The one good thing is now I'm forced to leave at 5 to pick up Mac from daycare.  Speaking of daycare, it's going wonderful!! If he could talk, I think he'd say he loves it!! His daycare provider just loves him and he lights up whenever he sees her!! She takes such good care of him while he's there, which makes it easier to not miss him so much while I'm at work! Last week, she was off for two days so Michelle graciously offered to watch him... she took these gorgeous pictures of him.. 

She has a gift for capturing the most beautiful shots!!!  She should really make a career out of taking pics!!!

As I mentioned earlier, this weekend is my 40th. My girlfriend Melissa is coming in from Detroit tonight and Timmy is throwing me a little party at a local bar/restaurant so it should be super fun!!! I'm so not stressed about turning 40 b/c I feel good about myself, my family and where I'm at in my life...  there's not much better than that!!!

Hope you are all well!! 

***OH!!! And I won the BOOBs swag bag today!!! I'm so freaking excited b/c I NEVER win anything!!! *** I'm sooooo going to BOOBs next year!! Thanks girls!!

Back to Reality..... Sad vs. Happy...

Sad:            My baby boy started daycare this week (yesterday)
Happy:        He seemed to do well and my heart didn't hurt too much while he was gone!

Sad:            My 12 weeks of maternity leave are coming to an end on Thursday
Happy:        I will be rejoining the land of the adult conversation!!! I'm actually excited to go back to            the land of adult conversation!!!  And having a schedule that doesn't involve diaper changes and feeding and cleaning my house!

Happy:        My girlfriends came to visit a couple of weeks ago to meet and hang out with Mac.
Sad:            They left!!!  Seriously, I have the greatest group of friends in the world.  I don't think I'll ever meet people like these girls. They just get me and there's no expectations, no drama, just caring friendship and tons of fun!

Sad:            My weight is slowly moving down but I'm still not in much of my pre-preggo clothes
Happy:        Amy sent me a GINORMOUS box of clothes to get me by until I'm back        down!!! Including some of the stuff I had sent her previously(well, that's kind of sad though!)

Sad:            My 40th birthday is in 3 weeks and I have no big trip planned, no party planned, nothing...I'm usually the party planner or assistant so unless I do it myself, I guess it's not going to happen..

Happy:       My friend Melissa just let me know that she's coming into town that weekend and it looks like   my friends Angela and Ian may as well so now it looks like we have to plan something!

Looks like you all had a blast in Chicago!!! I would love to come to one of these shin-digs! maybe next year??
Well, I'm off to enjoy these last two days of absolute freedom by getting a pedi and doing some shopping!! Enjoy your week! Oh!  and GO BREWERS!!!!!!  (we are going to the game tonight, hope they win and SWEEP the Diamondbacks!!)

All Mixed Up....

Hi all!  Hope you have all been well!  We just got back from a weeklong vacation/visit with my parents in Michigan and it was heavenly!! I'll talk about that in a bit..

Before I say what I am about to say, let me say that YES, I know that I recently had a baby, I know that things take time, etc, etc... so no need to remind me of these things!

I am FRUSTRATED!  I am so frustrated with the lack of weight loss since I had Mac.  I am at the point that I was almost 2 years ago before I had the band with how I feel about myself.  I'm disgusted when I look at myself, my self-confidence that had finally gotten better after 80+lbs lost is in the dumps and I can't find anything within myself to make things better. I need the Band's help. Right now, my restriction is not so good. I have an appointment on Thursday so I'm hoping that she can get me more of an aggressive fill so that at least I know it's there and is helping me with portion control.  My food choices need to change as well. I don't know what is wrong with me. I seem to have no self-control when it comes to the bad food choices.  I mentioned to my friends last week when we were walking for our 1/2 marathon training and my friend Jen said to me.. "what I think is going on is that before, you were seeing results and you were optimistic so you kept committing to seeing more results, you just now need to get back into that frame of thinking/mind"... this is so, so true. When I was losing consistently, it was enough for me to keep plugging away at it.  Now, I don't see results so my brain goes back into that "woe is me, I'll be fat forever" dialogue it has with itself.  I go back to work in a little over 2 weeks and I'm embarrassed that I still look semi-pregnant.  I need a swift kick in the ass from somewhere and it needs to happen soon.

I'm also extremely hormonal lately and could cry at the drop of a hat..  I keep saying I'm already going through the "change" b/c I haven't had my period yet and I'm almost 10 weeks PP and I keep having hot flashes in addition to a couple of other things.   I need to get to a dr to figure out what's going on..

I'm a mess.

Let's talk about something more positive shall we?  As I mentioned, Mac and I went to Michigan to visit Nana and Chief for a week. It was a nice break from the heat we'd been having (although it decided to cool down in AZ the minute we left!! and Heat up as soon as we returned.. go figure!) Mac met a LOT of people while there and was quite popular!! He finally got to meet his Great Aunt Joan and Uncle Bill (AJ and UB to me!) They are the parents of my cousin, whom we lost this spring.  This was the first time I've seen them since the funeral and it was hard to be at their house b/c I just kept expecting Karen to come down the steps into the kitchen. I had to hold back tears several times... It sucks. I know things won't ever be the same Up North without her but I hope the sadness gets a little lighter every visit.

Ok, now I'm going to end this Pity Party with some pics of Mac.. the kid is growing up too fast!!  He had his 2 month visit today and poor guy got 2 shots and was not happy.. his current stats are:
weight:  13.3 lbs
height:  24 3/4 inches (seems he's going to be a tall one! Not sure where he got his height from!)

he's already learning how to drive the boat at 2 months.. I'm almost 40 and I still don't know how to!!

resting his head on his favorite shoulder - Chief's!

getting to change up the outfits and wear something other than just a onesie was nice!

meeting his Aunt Molly for the first time!!! She really liked him!

Loved being able to snuggle up in a warm blanket!

My own personal protection service.. I mean, who's going to mess with him?? 

**Quick shout out to Nancy D, who reminded me that I needed to blog more!***