Back to Reality..... Sad vs. Happy...

Sad:            My baby boy started daycare this week (yesterday)
Happy:        He seemed to do well and my heart didn't hurt too much while he was gone!

Sad:            My 12 weeks of maternity leave are coming to an end on Thursday
Happy:        I will be rejoining the land of the adult conversation!!! I'm actually excited to go back to            the land of adult conversation!!!  And having a schedule that doesn't involve diaper changes and feeding and cleaning my house!

Happy:        My girlfriends came to visit a couple of weeks ago to meet and hang out with Mac.
Sad:            They left!!!  Seriously, I have the greatest group of friends in the world.  I don't think I'll ever meet people like these girls. They just get me and there's no expectations, no drama, just caring friendship and tons of fun!

Sad:            My weight is slowly moving down but I'm still not in much of my pre-preggo clothes
Happy:        Amy sent me a GINORMOUS box of clothes to get me by until I'm back        down!!! Including some of the stuff I had sent her previously(well, that's kind of sad though!)

Sad:            My 40th birthday is in 3 weeks and I have no big trip planned, no party planned, nothing...I'm usually the party planner or assistant so unless I do it myself, I guess it's not going to happen..

Happy:       My friend Melissa just let me know that she's coming into town that weekend and it looks like   my friends Angela and Ian may as well so now it looks like we have to plan something!

Looks like you all had a blast in Chicago!!! I would love to come to one of these shin-digs! maybe next year??
Well, I'm off to enjoy these last two days of absolute freedom by getting a pedi and doing some shopping!! Enjoy your week! Oh!  and GO BREWERS!!!!!!  (we are going to the game tonight, hope they win and SWEEP the Diamondbacks!!)

All Mixed Up....

Hi all!  Hope you have all been well!  We just got back from a weeklong vacation/visit with my parents in Michigan and it was heavenly!! I'll talk about that in a bit..

Before I say what I am about to say, let me say that YES, I know that I recently had a baby, I know that things take time, etc, etc... so no need to remind me of these things!

I am FRUSTRATED!  I am so frustrated with the lack of weight loss since I had Mac.  I am at the point that I was almost 2 years ago before I had the band with how I feel about myself.  I'm disgusted when I look at myself, my self-confidence that had finally gotten better after 80+lbs lost is in the dumps and I can't find anything within myself to make things better. I need the Band's help. Right now, my restriction is not so good. I have an appointment on Thursday so I'm hoping that she can get me more of an aggressive fill so that at least I know it's there and is helping me with portion control.  My food choices need to change as well. I don't know what is wrong with me. I seem to have no self-control when it comes to the bad food choices.  I mentioned to my friends last week when we were walking for our 1/2 marathon training and my friend Jen said to me.. "what I think is going on is that before, you were seeing results and you were optimistic so you kept committing to seeing more results, you just now need to get back into that frame of thinking/mind"... this is so, so true. When I was losing consistently, it was enough for me to keep plugging away at it.  Now, I don't see results so my brain goes back into that "woe is me, I'll be fat forever" dialogue it has with itself.  I go back to work in a little over 2 weeks and I'm embarrassed that I still look semi-pregnant.  I need a swift kick in the ass from somewhere and it needs to happen soon.

I'm also extremely hormonal lately and could cry at the drop of a hat..  I keep saying I'm already going through the "change" b/c I haven't had my period yet and I'm almost 10 weeks PP and I keep having hot flashes in addition to a couple of other things.   I need to get to a dr to figure out what's going on..

I'm a mess.

Let's talk about something more positive shall we?  As I mentioned, Mac and I went to Michigan to visit Nana and Chief for a week. It was a nice break from the heat we'd been having (although it decided to cool down in AZ the minute we left!! and Heat up as soon as we returned.. go figure!) Mac met a LOT of people while there and was quite popular!! He finally got to meet his Great Aunt Joan and Uncle Bill (AJ and UB to me!) They are the parents of my cousin, whom we lost this spring.  This was the first time I've seen them since the funeral and it was hard to be at their house b/c I just kept expecting Karen to come down the steps into the kitchen. I had to hold back tears several times... It sucks. I know things won't ever be the same Up North without her but I hope the sadness gets a little lighter every visit.

Ok, now I'm going to end this Pity Party with some pics of Mac.. the kid is growing up too fast!!  He had his 2 month visit today and poor guy got 2 shots and was not happy.. his current stats are:
weight:  13.3 lbs
height:  24 3/4 inches (seems he's going to be a tall one! Not sure where he got his height from!)

he's already learning how to drive the boat at 2 months.. I'm almost 40 and I still don't know how to!!

resting his head on his favorite shoulder - Chief's!

getting to change up the outfits and wear something other than just a onesie was nice!

meeting his Aunt Molly for the first time!!! She really liked him!

Loved being able to snuggle up in a warm blanket!

My own personal protection service.. I mean, who's going to mess with him?? 

**Quick shout out to Nancy D, who reminded me that I needed to blog more!***

Reunited, and it feels so.....different?

Hi all, well, today I went in to my lapband doctor for the first time since December 3rd!! 

There was a new Dr there b/c apparently my normal doc is about a week away from having a baby herself!  I really liked the new doctor and am glad to see they have additional help there b/c normally it takes forever once you get into the office.

Once she reviewed my history and we discussed my current situation, she decided to check my fill level to make sure nothing had disappeard in the 9 months since I was last adjusted.  All 4cc were there so we decided to add a cc and then I'll go back in a few weeks for another fill and we'll just keep adjusting until I get up to where I was pre-Mac..  I'm excited. She's pretty aggressive and since I've never had any issues with being overfilled or anything, she's willing to give me good size fills until I get to the green zone.  I thought for sure she'd have an issue finding my port since things have gotten a little jumbled up in that area, but she was up for the challenge and found it in no time. So, me and Antonio (Band-eras) are officially reunited!!

Meanwhile, not a whole heck of a lot else going on here!!  It's hotter than balls here and it's pretty much making everyone miserable.. I was finally given the all clear from my OB to be able to start working out and get in the pool and I've taken advantage of both clearances!! I started my 1/2 marathon training last week again.. my body is clearly going to take some time to get back to where it was pre-baby.. my hips were killing me the entire 5+ miles we walked on Sunday am..  add to the fact it was 100 degrees at 6:00 am when we started, it was pretty pathetic.. OH, and add to that that I had gone out for "mom's night out" with some girlfriends the night before and drank about a bottle of wine, ooooof, I was a mess!!!  Surprisingly, I can walk today and have a little pain in my hips and back..  I'll get there, it'll just hurt while getting there!!

My sister in Law, Beth came for a short weekend last week and it was wonderful to have her!!  She helped us out soo much, made like 10 meals for us to freeze and have at a later date and just held Mac and let me come and go as I pleased (like going out to get a pedi!) I've always loved and appreciated Beth and knew how lucky I was that she came into our family, but I realized so much more how important she is when she was here!  We really had never gotten a chance to spend any one on one time together... LOVE HER!!

Mac is great!  He's going through a little 6-7 week fussy phase.. but it's truly not that bad. HE just seems a little overly grumpy.  I keep chalking it up to the heat as well, b/c that sure has made me grumps!! He is still keeping a pretty busy social schedule still.. lots of lunches and visitors! We are headed up to Northern Michigan next Friday for a little over a week! HOpefully, the change in weather and some quality time with his Nana and Chief will work wonders for both of our moods!!

I head back to work on October 6th and I can honestly say, I"m not looking forward to it. At week 2, when I was so overwhelmed with being a new mom and just tired, I couldn't wait to get back to work.. but now that it's looming closer and closer and I've been having such a nice time connecting with Mac and my girlfriends, I'm going to be sad to see all this freedom go away!  I will be glad to get back to the people I work with b/c I do miss them, even though I see a few of them quite frequently!

Ok, I've rambled on too much!!!  Here are some new pics of Macadoo! Hope you are all well!

checking out his SMILE!!!

Getting ready for his 1st swim in the pool!

xo,js

Getting Back in the Game..

hey all! 

well, here I am 5 weeks PM (post Mac) and I'm ready, I'm ready to commit myself to getting back in the band game.. every time I look at myself, I reminded of where I came from a year ago... I'm not loving the way I look right now. I know that I just had a child 5 weeks ago, but it's tough seeing yourself having gained almost 1/2 of the weight you had previously lost back..  so, I'm ready to be that Jen again and keep moving down the scale!!  I started last night with a really really slow 2.5 mile walk and today I feel like I ran a 1/2 marathon!!!  My whole body just aches!!  Going back out again this evening when Timmy gets home and have a plan to keep on walking until next week when hopefully my dr. gives me the all clear to start really working out again.  I'm re-joining Lifetime next week and I have a plan to do a couple of classes each week with Michelle and then start some training sessions again with Kathi.. 

Speaking of 1/2 marathons..  I'm doing the Women's 1/2 again this year.  This is one that I walked with the Jens last year.  We're supposed to have started our training this past weekend, but since I was dealing with the infection and all, we are a week behind..  that's part of my motivation to get moving again!!  Can't let my girls down!!

Went to the dr again today to check on the status of my incision infection and looks like it's almost all cleared up!!  Unfortunatly, the anitbiotics have caused a yeast infection which is somewhat unpleasant but hopefully that will all be cleared up by next week's visit!  (sorry for the TMI!)  So, I go back next week for my 6 week post-partum visit.  Crazy to think that I've been going to the dr. every week for the past almost 3 months.. I don't know what I'll (or they'll) do without seeing me every week!!!

I'm planning on making an appointment with my band dr. as soon as I see my OB/Gyn next week.  I do have some restriction lately so that's a good thing, but honestly, it comes and goes and it needs to be here to stay!!!

I'll leave you with some new pics of Mac!   Hope you are all doing well!!!  xo,js

Mac at his ped appointment! He's up to 10 lbs 13 oz and has grown 2 inches since birth!!!

Love those chubby cheeks!!!

Too cool for school!

Mac pointing out the flamingoes on his first trip the zoo, which BTW was a horrible idea since it was 300 degrees!! Maybe we'll go back during the zoo lights at Christmas!! maybe.. 

A Couple Steps Forward and One Step Back... and the survey everyone else is doing!

Hi All!! 
Trying to keep up to date on Blogger with a 3 week old is exhausting!!  I find myself reading blogs late at night or during Mac's meals.. usually on my phone with one hand!! So, I try to comment, but it's hard!!!

We are doing well.. Mac is growing like a weed!  He's 3 weeks today and I already can't imagine what my life was like 3 weeks ago!!  I am introducing him to a very busy social schedule!! We have lots of lunches and visits from friends.  Thank god for my friend Michelle who has been soo helpful in keeping us busy and entertained and just there when I need some mom advice! 

I, unfortunately, have an infection in my c-section incision, which completely blows...  it's so gross. I'm on heavy antibiotics and am keeping everything crossed that when I go in for a follow-up on Friday, I don't get sent directly to the hospital to get things taken care of..  that would not be good b/c there would be a chance I would have stay overnight.  So, please think good thoughts!! 

I just booked a ticket for Mac and me to Michigan in September and can't wait!! It'll be nice to get away from this ridiculous heat we are experiencing here!!! Today it was 115 and boiling!!!  What I wouldn't give to get in the pool right now!! 

So, since everyone else is doing it, I thought I would do the fun little survey going around...



1. What is your occupation right now ?


I am currently staying at home as a mom for the next 9 weeks, but on October 6th, I go back to my regular job as a Senior Assistant to the VP of Marketing of a Pharmaceutical Company.. not what I went to school for but I LOVE my job.. I get paid very well as an assistant and my boss completely rocks.
2.What color are your socks right now?

I live in Az..  no socks required!!


3. What are you listening to right now?

SYTYCD on TV.. husband rambling about something behind me..

4. What was the last thing that you ate?

bacon and eggs.. Breakfast was for dinner!

5. Can you drive a stick shift?

yep, I learned to drive on a stick.. and had several in my life..


6. Last person you spoke to on the phone?

my mom.. we talk everyday now!!

7. Do you like the person you stole this blog from?

yes! 

8. How old are you today?

39...  40 is quickly approaching in about 2 months!!! YIKES!!!

9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?

College Football and BBall


10. What is your favorite drink?

water, diet coke, Iced Tea and BEER!

11. Have you ever dyed your hair?

um yeah.. the jury is out on what my natural color is these days!!!


12. Favorite food?

Buffalo Chicken wings.. or just put buffalo sauce on anything and I'll eat it!!

13. What is the last movie you watched?

We saw "Friends with Benefits" this weekend... totally LAME!!!


14. Favorite day of the year?

I used to love, love, love my birthday but now I just spend the entire month celebrating!! So, i would say my favorite day has always been Thanksgiving!!  It's such a low-key, chill holiday and you don't have to have crazy expectations!

15. How do you vent anger?

Oh, I'm a yeller..

16. What was your favorite toy as a child?

Barbies for sure

17. What is your favorite season?

I love Fall, but since we live in AZ and don't really get a fall, I'd say Winter in AZ b/c it's more fall-like than winter-like!!!

18. Cherries or Blueberries?
I love Cherries when I'm in Michigan.
When I was preggers, I ate blueberry everything and LOVED them!!

19. Do you want your friends to blog this survey?

I think pretty much everyone has already!

20. Where is you favorite place to escape?

I like me some pedis or the movies!!

21. Favorite Tv Show?

now is not a good time to ask me b/c I'm currently watching a LOT of TV!!!  I love Reality and my current fave is Big Brother.. I do love Flipping Out and the Housewives shows too!


22. Living arrangements?

Live in N. Scottsdale with my hubs, the beags and my kiddo!


23. When was the last time you cried?

when haven't I cried?? I cry a lot thanks to these crazy hormones!!!


24. What is on the floor of your closet?

carpet and some laundry baskets


25. Who is the friend you have had the longest?

my friend Sandra and I met in 2nd grade and still talk sometimes!!! 


26. What did you do last night?

hmmm, I have  3 week old..  I slept, fed, slept, fed...

27. What are you most afraid of?

snakes

28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers?

cheeseburger

29. Favorite dog breed?

I have two beagles so I guess I'd say Beags.

30. Favorite day of the week?

Friday

31. How many states have you lived in?

Michigan, California, Mississippi, Illinois, Minnesota, Arizona and then one country - Germany
32. Diamonds or pearls?

Diamonds

33. What is your favorite flower?

Peonies!

So Far Soooooo Good!

Hi all, well Mac has made it to almost 2 weeks old and is perfectly fine, so we must be doing something right!!

To say the last 2 weeks have been a complete rollercoaster would be an understatement. I will admit that the baby blues are no joke.. my hormone levels are beyond through the roof!!!!   But, all in all, this new mom gig is sooo worth it!!!

couple of thoughts before I bombard you with pics again!!

• My parents left on Saturday - it was so nice to have them here and so sad to see them go.  They were a tremendous help and we are trying to manage without them!! We miss them terribly.
• Mac had his first photoshoot on Saturday.  It's unbelievable how much more my heart swelled with love watching him be photographed by the amazing photographer we hired..  hopefully I'll have some good proofs to share soon. I did sneak a shot in while she wasn't looking and I've posted below!!
• My healing is moving right along.. I still have a lot of pain at night and my stomach is all sorts of jacked up from the c-section.  Everyday gets a little better.
• I'm down around 20 of the almost 50 I gained.  Hopefully this continues to move downward as well until I can get the all clear to work out. 
• I called to see about getting a fill yesterday. I'm ready and motivated to get back on the "band"wagon!  I just need to get the all clear from my OB when I go in on Thursday. I'm not breastfeeding (it just didn't work out for me OR Mac) so I'm hoping to get in to the Band Dr. in the next few weeks.

I think that's about all I have to update.  My life lately is pretty standard - wake up, feed Mac, entertain Mac, get stuff done while Mac sleeps, feed Mac, entertain Mac, and keep repeating..... 

Enjoy the pics!!  Hope everyone is well!!
xo,js

Family Shot

Just Mac!

snuck a shot in during his shoot!!

Mac with his Nana and Chief

Mac and his Daddy





Worth the Wait - Meet Mac!!!!

Hi All!! 

So sorry for the absence!! Had a really good reason though!! Baby Mac arrived last Wednesday, July 13th at 9:29 in the evening!!!   He was exactly 6 days past due!!! His stats were:  8 lbs 3 oz, 21 inches long.  But he was soooo worth the wait!! Here's my story!!!

For the last three weeks or so, I went to the dr. each week and when she would check my cervix, I was not appearing to be dilating at all.   Finally at 39 weeks, we talked about some things we could do to "ripen" my cervix to see if we could get me going.  So, 2 weeks ago, I went to the hospital to have some gels inserted to ripen my cervix (yes, it's just as fun and comfortable as it sounds!!!)  Went back to Dr. on Friday and still nothing..   we made a plan to have me go in on Wednesday, 7/13, evening, have Cervidil (another ripening albeit more strong gel) inserted and then the following morning, we'd check me and if I had made progress, we'd induce and if not, we'd go for a c-section.  Honestly, was totally fine with that option.  I went again on Tuesday morning to check things out and still nothing at all.  So, I asked, "why would we even do cervidil if nothing else has worked, why wouldn't we just go ahead with a c-section"..  she said it was my choice so I opted for a c-section, scheduled for Thursday, the 14th at 1:30...WELL, things did not go as planned b/c the next day, after we dropped my dad off for his dialysis (yes, my parents arrived almost a week early and just had to hang out and wait with me!! ) we headed to Target. In the car, I felt as if I might be peeing on myself and was like "you have got to be kidding me!!". So we got to Target, and I went to the bathroom, realized that I was not peeing, but my water had broken and came out to tell my mom.  I called Tim to come get me while my mom finished up what she needed to do and then go get my dad.  WE arrived at the hospital and determined that since I had just eaten (In N Out burger!!), I had to wait for 8 hours until we could go into surgery... so, that's what we did.  Just wait and wait and wait!!!  I was surprisingly calm until they came in to prep me and tell me what was going to go down.. then the nerves kicked in.  I was wheeled into the operating room around 9ish and at 9:29, Mac came right out!!!  Tim was very emotional, and I was just relieved!! Everyone kept saying how cute he was so I was anxious to see him!! When Tim brought him over to me, I just melted. It really is a miracle that he's here!  If you know my story, we never thought this would ever happen for us and everything just went text book and perfect and now we have the most beautiful addition to our family.  

We stayed in the hospital until Saturday morning ( had the option to stay until Sunday but I was moving around much more than expected so they gave us the OK to leave early)   The stay in the hospital was a little rough..  my emotions and stress level were through the roof and we had a LOT of visitors which was at times a little overwhelming for me.  Being home has been great, he's a great eater, sleeper and just all around an easily appeasable baby.  I hope this continues!!  My recovery has been a little slower than I'd like.  I had forgotten about little things like gas pains and it's been a bitch to sit down and stand up... I'm sooooo bruised as well.  Again, all worth it when I look at Mac!!! 

For those whom I'm friends with on Facebook, the below pictures you've already seen!!! Sorry for the photo bomb but I can't stop taking pictures of this little man!!!

Hope you are all well!! Trying to catch up on blogs!

xoxo
js

Mac - around 15 minutes old!

this is what he does ALOT!!!

Heading Home:

Chilling with his Chief (his grandpa)

Loves his giraffe!

Chill Baby

went for our first walk today!!!