I have an old friend from Ocean Springs who is now a preacher running his Christian Empire down in Florida. I occasionally check his website b/c I do find a lot of what he speaks on very motivational and relevant. Last night, as I was checking out his site, I watched a video that was on his site, promoting his message in the upcoming weeks. In the video, someone was asking random people "what's your purpose in life" and surprisingly, most people couldn't answer the question. For some reason, this video sat with me all night long and into today and I can't shake that question. "What's my purpose in life"?
I think, as people get older and get further away from the "traditional" expectations in life - getting married, having a career, having a family, living in that house with the white picket fence - we start to question what our purpose is in life. Or maybe it's just me that questions it.
I've always felt that I was destined for something big in my life.. in actuality, I think about it alot. I keep feeling that I'm on the cusp of doing something great or something meaningful. I'm not in any way saying that I am not happy in the life that I'm currently living b/c I love my husband more than anything. But, there's something missing.. Surely, my purpose in life can't be to just be a good, loving wife, daughter, a loyal friend, a trustworthy co-worker. I've got that down pat, but that just seems so boring!! I read these stories of people who found their calling in volunteerism, humanitarianism and celebrity. I know my calling is out there, but where is it and when will I get it?? I'm almost 40 for goodness sakes!!
I know that the grass isn't always greener.. in fact, I can't count the number of times when I've been talking to Shannon and have said, "the way you feel about people being married and how you want that, is the exact same way I feel about people who have children and want that". This weekend alone, we were at our friends' house with 3 other couples - all had kids but me and Timmy. Someone said, "oh to go back to the life of not having kids and we could do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted".. and all I could think of was "that life is great, but how much greater would our lives be if we had a family.. " I guess you don't realize how lucky you are to be in a certain circumstance until you aren't in it anymore..
So, I feel restless.. I feel like change is brewing.. anyone else ever feel this way?? Have you found your purpose??
Deep thoughts..
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You are so right Jen, as we get older and have pretty much attained the things we wanted, we do start to contemplate the purpose. There has to be more than just crossing of items on the many lists. I still don't know, but I am just trying to remember to live in the present moment, as it is all you have and try not to focus too much on the future or past.
ReplyDeleteI am sure with all your new adventures you will someday stumble across your purpose.