Coming Clean..

I've been blogging for almost 4 years now and while the original intent of my blogging was to document and journal my weightloss journey with the lap band, it became so much more than that. I've had a baby and the blog has become more about my life and family and friends than what it's original intent was. While I still want to use this blog to chronicle my "life", I need to refocus on what I started out to do, which is to use this tool that I've been given the opportunity to have and use it to it's full advantage to change my life.  One thing I never did for fear of judgement and honestly, just shame, was ever put a before picture nor did I ever disclose my weight on my blog. ( I started out with a lot of real life friends and family reading my blog and I still have those readers)  I figured that since so many of my blog friends were hiding the fact that they even have the band, what was the big whoop with me not telling my weight. I have come to realize though that the most successful lap banders/sleeve folks are those that are full disclosure, doing weekly weigh ins, talking about their plans, eating habits, etc..
I need to be one of the success stories.  So my shame and fear of being judged ends today.  I plan on doing weekly weigh-ins on Wednesday and I plan to share my successes as well as my short-comings. I need to support, I need to do this and get it done. I'm tired of watching everyone around me succeed and me just being OK with it.

So here we go:

Today's Weigh In:  249

249? Pathetic!  I'm up 10 lbs since my unfill before my EGD a month ago.  When I did my EGD, he filled me back up to 6 ccs which is totally not enough for me. I am usually good at around 9.5ccs. He wanted me to go about 3 weeks with this fill level. In that 3 weeks I've found out that my new insurance doesn't cover the band at all.  So, I'm going to be self-pay and I'll be damned if I waste all this money and not get moving in the right direction. My lowest I've ever been since having surgery was 235.  My goal is around 175/180 so I have a ways to go. I'm going in this week to meet with my new doctor and come up with a plan.

Here are my "before" pics.. from yesterday. I'm considering it an NSV of sorts that I was even in a tank top walking outside, but it was hot!! (Also, lordy be is my garage a mess!!!)

 

I met up with Elizabeth yesterday at a baseball game! Super fun to meet her daughter who was a trooper and so sweet to run after Mac every time he tried to escape our area!  She is a great support and I can't tell you how nice it is to just talk to someone who get's it. Today she's having her port moved so she's going to be back at it as well!! :) Love her!


so, that's it. I'm finally out. Feels good!!  I'll be doing weigh-ins on Wednesdays since it seems a lot of peeps do that, plus "Weigh In Wednesday" just sounds right!!

Thought I'd make myself feel a little better about myself today by wearing a dress that has been sitting in my closet for quite some time and I finally have a little color on my legs to wear it! Sorry for the blur but just couldn't get it to focus.. also for the messy playroom!!

Expect to be seeing more of me in blogging (less of me in weight!!)!
xo
js