Surgery Date Set!!!!

Yahooo... I was having a abnormally CRAPPY day until I got THE call!!!

Surgery date is set for OCTOBER 29th!!!!

Now I can go to Mexico and live it up one last time!!! :)

I have to start a pre-op diet as soon as I get back so anyone who knows me and lives near me, WATCH OUT!!! I may not be my most pleasant self!!

So excited!!!

High School Skinny

There's an ad on the radio nowadays advertising a weight loss pill that gets you "High School Skinny" and I got to thinking about myself when I was in high school.. the funny thing was, I was not a chubbo in High School by any means but was considered a "big" girl. Let me tell ya, if I looked like I did in High School now, I'd be 98% happier with myself than I am right now!! It's funny how our perceptions and other's perceptions of us change over time and based on what's what at the time.. interesting!

Speaking of High School, my OSHS c/of 1989 had their 20 year reunion this weekend and I so wish I was able to attend. I have reconnected with a lot of people from my class through Facebook, but nothing would have compared to actually being there! The pics look like it was a ton of fun and mostly everyone looks almost the same as they did 20 years ago! Just a little older, a little wiser hopefully and a lot actually have aged really really well...

So, I had made a list a while back for when I was going to talk to the psychologist at my doctor's office before getting approved for the surgery, of reasons I wanted to lose the weight.. in the past week alone, I have added 4 things to that list:

1. I want to be healthy. This is an obvious one. I want to live a long time (I'm shooting for at least 93!) and not have health problems that render me incapacitated or unable to do things that I like to do.
2. I want to climb 3 flights of stairs at work without gasping for air. This may not seem like a big deal, but I walk up those stairs at least 3 times a day with my girls and each time, I cannot hold the conversation. It helps that even the skinny ones have a hard time breathing too, but still, I think it would lesson if I wasn't carrying around so much weight.
3. I would like to know if my weight is the reason I haven't been able to get pregnant. I mean, I WAS pregnant for a short time, but I just keep thinking if I could lose the weight, I might be able to actually conceive without any interventions..
4. I want to climb Pinnacle Peak. My first foray into climbing PP was with my friends Holly and Melissa when they came to visit in November, 2006. I was mortified that I could only make it up like 1/4 of the mountain before having to go back. My 2nd time was in August, 2007 with Timmy. I had been working out with a trainer pretty hard core and was able to make it up 7/8 of the mountain but all the while I was praying that God would not let me die on that mountain and was aided by an inhaler that got more use that day than 3 weeks worth of days.
5. I want to shop at "Normal" stores that don't specialize in Plus Size clothes.. Mind you, I am quite fashionable for a bigger girl but this past weekend, I was shopping with Michelle for her birthday and we spent about 2.5 hours in one store where the only thing I could buy for myself was earrings and purses.. it was fun to spend that time, but I want to be the one in the dressing room, trying on stuff and coming out to model..
6. I want to be able to run. Not like Run away from a crazy dog run, but like run as exercise. I have stamina, but running has always eluded me. I want to change that. I would even go so far as to say that I'd like to run a 5 or 10K someday and not have to walk through 1/2 or most of it.
7. I want to not have to dread getting on an airplane and hoping that I'm not sitting next to another big person and feeling like I'm going to suffocate or be claustrophobic.
8. I want to be able to wear a bathing suit and not feel self-conscious around people I don't know. My poor friends here have all gotten used to me and my flabby ass hanging out in a bathing suit.. to know me is to love me I guess!
9. I work in the land of the little people and I just want to not be self-conscious of my size around them. No one ever comments on it, but when you work with munchkins, you can't help but feel a little out of place.

After looking at these, I realize that I sound a little pathetic, but this is the way I think.. remember, I'm not your average chubby girl!!!

Makin a change..... of plans..

I decided about a year ago that I was sick of being chubby... and sick of trying everything under the sun to alleviate that problem.. diets that never seemed to work, working out, adjusting thyroid meds.. .I had pretty much always shunned weight loss surgery as the "lazy way out of being fat".. until I had had enough! I went to talk to a doctor about the Lap Band System and was convinced that this was exactly what I needed to lose the weight I've been carrying around for years... one catch.. it wasn't going to happen overnight... even the surgery wasn't going to happen anytime soon. I was a bit deflated (but not enought to fit into last year's jeans) when I found out that per my insurance (which by the way covers the entire surgery AND aftercare.. WOOT!) I would have to go through six months of "weight loss visits" with my doctor which included everything from a stress test to a sleep study test (would highly NOT recommend this if you ever have to do it) to a psychological exam to determine my "mind-set" in why I want to lose weight.. (I guess not being able to walk up 3 flights of stairs without needing an inhaler is enough of a reason to want to lose weight.. )

So, I was diligent in going to my visits on the scheduled time each month. They told me not to lose too much weight each time but just maintain so that the insurance company did not see any reason that I couldn't do this on my own. 6 months passed and I was elated that we were finally sending in my paperwork to the insurance company. I was making plans and rescheduling vacations and planning around things b/c I just knew I was going to be having this surgery in late May or early June goshdarnit.. but then 2 (not 1 but 2) shoes dropped! (literally, but that's a whole other blog where I talk about my clumsiness and tall shoes phobia)

1. I took a pregnancy test which I would NEVER normally take b/c that's a whole other blog topic too and found out I was pregnant
2. My doctor called me two days after #1 occurred to tell me that my insurance was a go for the surgery however they considered my "fatness" a pre-existing condition ( ya think??? ) and I needed to be with my insurance for a year before they would pay for it..

Ok, change of plans then.. In my crazy ADD kind of organized mind, I was thinking.. ok this will work, I'll have a baby, then while I'm on maternity leave, I'll just pop in and have the surgery and that'll work out JUST fine!

But, as most of my plans go, that didn't work out. Had a miscarriage, called the doctor's office and told them I was still wanting to do it in September, they said great, we'll call you in August to schedule and now I wait...... and wait.... it's still July so I have another week of waiting..

BUT, now here's the new issue.. we go to Mexico to celebrate Timmy's 40th birthday at the beginning of October and there's some crazy stuff at work going on at the beginning of September that I can't miss, so what to do?? Am I crazy to have the surgery the 2nd week of September and then head to Mexico or does it make more sense to wait until after Mexico which would mean that I wouldn't have the surgery until late Oct/early November.. .. part of me wants to get it over with but is also concerned about lying in a Mexican hospital with a hole in my belly and a dirty iv needle in my arm.. (no offense to Mexican hospitals but I've seen a LOT of movies where that happens) and the other part says wait until after Mexico and then you have nothing going on to have to schedule around.. what to do what to do..

Til next time....

The Beginning

So, I'm a blogger... actually have been for a couple of years but have kept it on the DL (Down Low for those not in the know.. ) for awhile. I have blogged on another site called Multiply for a couple of years and have met some fun, crazy and interesting people on there. I've actually met a couple of the people on there in real life and have become good friends with a few.

So, why switch? I wanted a spot where people in my "real life" could go without having to be a 'member' in order to read what's going on in my life.

Why call it "What you lookin at Skinny?" - my SIL Beth and I were sitting in my parent's kitchen about a month ago and we were talking about how I'm not your "average fat (I've changed the word to chubby for this blog only) girl".. and she said, "you should do a blog and talk about your weight loss journey so that we can all hear about it and be with you" and thus this blog was born.. but back to the title.. later on that afternoon, we were telling my brother, Jeff about it and tossing around some names and he said "What you Lookin at Skinny" and thus the title of this blog was born!!!

So, here begins my blogging journey.. I probably won't always talk about weight loss b/c frankly, that's not what defines me and I don't think about it 24/7.. however it is a big part of my life RIGHT NOW... hopefully I won't offend with my posts, but no guarantees!! I tend to talk before I think sometimes and writing is no different!!

Betcha can't wait to see what's next......

Leaving you with my favorite picture of Tim - from last summer up north, wearing my niece Kate's fancy pink swim goggles.. his is hottttttttttttt