High School Skinny

There's an ad on the radio nowadays advertising a weight loss pill that gets you "High School Skinny" and I got to thinking about myself when I was in high school.. the funny thing was, I was not a chubbo in High School by any means but was considered a "big" girl. Let me tell ya, if I looked like I did in High School now, I'd be 98% happier with myself than I am right now!! It's funny how our perceptions and other's perceptions of us change over time and based on what's what at the time.. interesting!

Speaking of High School, my OSHS c/of 1989 had their 20 year reunion this weekend and I so wish I was able to attend. I have reconnected with a lot of people from my class through Facebook, but nothing would have compared to actually being there! The pics look like it was a ton of fun and mostly everyone looks almost the same as they did 20 years ago! Just a little older, a little wiser hopefully and a lot actually have aged really really well...

So, I had made a list a while back for when I was going to talk to the psychologist at my doctor's office before getting approved for the surgery, of reasons I wanted to lose the weight.. in the past week alone, I have added 4 things to that list:

1. I want to be healthy. This is an obvious one. I want to live a long time (I'm shooting for at least 93!) and not have health problems that render me incapacitated or unable to do things that I like to do.
2. I want to climb 3 flights of stairs at work without gasping for air. This may not seem like a big deal, but I walk up those stairs at least 3 times a day with my girls and each time, I cannot hold the conversation. It helps that even the skinny ones have a hard time breathing too, but still, I think it would lesson if I wasn't carrying around so much weight.
3. I would like to know if my weight is the reason I haven't been able to get pregnant. I mean, I WAS pregnant for a short time, but I just keep thinking if I could lose the weight, I might be able to actually conceive without any interventions..
4. I want to climb Pinnacle Peak. My first foray into climbing PP was with my friends Holly and Melissa when they came to visit in November, 2006. I was mortified that I could only make it up like 1/4 of the mountain before having to go back. My 2nd time was in August, 2007 with Timmy. I had been working out with a trainer pretty hard core and was able to make it up 7/8 of the mountain but all the while I was praying that God would not let me die on that mountain and was aided by an inhaler that got more use that day than 3 weeks worth of days.
5. I want to shop at "Normal" stores that don't specialize in Plus Size clothes.. Mind you, I am quite fashionable for a bigger girl but this past weekend, I was shopping with Michelle for her birthday and we spent about 2.5 hours in one store where the only thing I could buy for myself was earrings and purses.. it was fun to spend that time, but I want to be the one in the dressing room, trying on stuff and coming out to model..
6. I want to be able to run. Not like Run away from a crazy dog run, but like run as exercise. I have stamina, but running has always eluded me. I want to change that. I would even go so far as to say that I'd like to run a 5 or 10K someday and not have to walk through 1/2 or most of it.
7. I want to not have to dread getting on an airplane and hoping that I'm not sitting next to another big person and feeling like I'm going to suffocate or be claustrophobic.
8. I want to be able to wear a bathing suit and not feel self-conscious around people I don't know. My poor friends here have all gotten used to me and my flabby ass hanging out in a bathing suit.. to know me is to love me I guess!
9. I work in the land of the little people and I just want to not be self-conscious of my size around them. No one ever comments on it, but when you work with munchkins, you can't help but feel a little out of place.

After looking at these, I realize that I sound a little pathetic, but this is the way I think.. remember, I'm not your average chubby girl!!!